Talking Money

An insight into dealing with finances together.

In a recent talk with my fiancee about how we each felt about our finances (they're a bit tight). I came to a realization.

I had been feeling a bit like she was out spending money a bit frivolously and wasn't considering our sitation. However, to her she was spending the amount we had alloted on luxuries and had my agreement with what we were getting. The disparity that arose here has largely me to blame. When we first discussed buying something, say movie tickets, she'd be enthusiastic about it, but I'd be a bit iffy and not really into it. However, since it was within our budget, I wasn't going to outright say we shouldn't do it. But I'd just end up filing it away and largely forget about it. This would work fine if it was just me, I'd basically end up not buying something through inaction, since I don't really have a demand for it, there's no impeteus for me to go seek it out and spend money. However, my fiancee would think about it, and she'd actually make plans and act on them. So suddenly I have to go from the mindset of "we're not really going" to "yes we are going". To me it was a pretty sudden shift and now we're spending money I hadn't anticipated on. So to me it feels like she's just about to overspend since it's not something I'd seen coming and planned on. Of course to her, I said yes however ambivilently so clearly we were going, just she was going to be the one who needed to actually get us there because it clearly was her thing. So what's seeming to me to be an impulse buy on her part is something she's actually been thinking about for awhile and just waiting to find the right deal.

Our general solution to this is to actually be a bit more organized. When we're about to go on a shopping trip we now plan to write down what we're looking to get. Not only does this keep us on track, but it can give some warning ahead of time if either of us has overlooked something the other person wanted to get (though this has pretty much just been my problem). I suppose that goes to show that communication is always useful in a relationship.